Sunday, June 6, 2010

success! (mixed with crushing failure...)

well, i finally found a swimming suit i'm mildly happy with, even if it's made up of a non-matching tankini top and bikini bottom from two different manufacturers. but that's neither here nor there. it fits, i like it, i'm wearing it tomorrow. done and done. well, i hope i'm wearing it tomorrow. i'm going out on my parent's boat in the first time in about a dozen years, but the weather might not be warm enough for swimming (high of 75, but it rained on and off all day today so the water is probably pretty cold). so all this might have been for naught. whatever, i'm trying not to think about it.

as thrilling as finding a bathing suit i'm happy with is (it was totally thrilling, btw), i had a crushing failure in my effort to curtail my hairwashing. i hadn't washed my hair with actual shampoo for about two and a half weeks now (guessing), opting instead for a baking soda and honey mixture every two or three days. today, though, i gave in and grabbed the bottle of shampoo and washed my hair. and you know what? it felt great. it wasn't without internal debate, though. today was about the third day since i'd washed it, and i was getting ready to go out to run some errands, and my hair was just icky. i tried pulling it back tightly into a ponytail, bun, braid, a messy bun, letting it hang loose, using dry shampoo, headkercheif... and it all looked gross and made me feel even worse. i'd spent about 25 minutes futzing with it when i looked at myself in the mirror and said 'whyyyyy am i wasting my time with this bullshit when i could wash it and be on my way to the store in about ten minutes?!' the whole point of wanting to wash my hair less frequently, after all, was to be less of a slave to my hair. i've noticed that i'm getting downright obsessed with my hair and how it looks in-between washings. this is the exact opposite of what i'd wanted. i'd still like to get to the point where i'm washing my hair twice or three times a week instead of seven times a week. so maybe this is just a detour. a soapy, shampooy-filled detour.


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